This might seem a bit of a contrarian opinion, but I’ve felt from quite a young age that a lot of jealousy is misplaced and counter to true love. If one loves another, then that person wants what is best for the other, even if that means it might not get that person their immediate desires. To me, jealousy implies a lack of trust, and love can only exist if there’s trust. The majority of people I’ve discussed this with really didn’t agree. It made me feel less crazy when I was introduced the concept of compersion, where one feels genuine and sincere joy for the success and joy of others.
Similar to many characteristics of the human condition , we are capable of both jealousy and compersion, which exist as poles on an axis. Similar to the images below.
I like the idea of a more expansive and interrelated vocabulary for our emotions. “Name it to tame it”. This frameworks gives us the opportunity for space, relfection, and less reactivity.
Similar also the “mwe” that Dr Dan Siegel talks about. We’re fundamentally social creatures. If we are more able to model each others desires and needs, then we can find larger common group and shared purpose. I really want to put out into the world a framework of non-zero-sum relationships. What if we were given this language as 2nd graders and taught to practice it in our emotionally tumultuous adolescence?